Farmville is her only friend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
