So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
