so that wasnt chicken after all
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
