"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
