She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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