She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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