yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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