So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
