Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize