ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
