You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
