If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
