Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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