you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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