this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
