I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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