drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
