so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
