I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
