i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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