so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize