Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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