Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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