YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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