Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
