yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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