She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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