If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
