im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We need a shit load of segways right now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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