what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
