Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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