is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize