i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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