Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
