if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize