No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
