You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
