I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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