Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you guys were way drunker than both of me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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