Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
