She is in my trunk
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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