i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
