so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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