Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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