Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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