Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just puked most of my soul out..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
