I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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