well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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