i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
