So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize