I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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