This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
