"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
