he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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