You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
