white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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