they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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