If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
