PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
