So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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