whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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