i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
