Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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