He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
