I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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