she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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