he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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