i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
