I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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