throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
