I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
