butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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