Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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