champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize