Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
