Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
