$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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