Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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