Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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