I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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