I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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