Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
