not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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