OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
