they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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