Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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