There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
