We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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