I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
