walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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